


Silence

by danishdaddy



Category: Avengers Assemble (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, I'm Bad At Summaries, M/M, Post Season 3 Finale, Steve is sad as hell, ultron revolution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-04-05 05:39:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19042225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danishdaddy/pseuds/danishdaddy
Summary: The tema had to leave their leader behind; the last thing any of them wanted to do. Steve is trying his best to be strong, but it's hard when the love of your life is in an alternate dimension





	Silence

Crushed. Steve felt as if his heart was being crushed and squeezed, held down by the weight of losing someone, someone close to him, someone he loves. The whole way to their new base Steve felt ill, nauseous almost, and no one said a word. No wisecracks, no jokes, not even a word of comfort, not even from Steve. Steve felt that if he opened his mouth his heart would lurch out of his mouth. Sam was messing with the display of his visor, it's warm colors shifting constantly. When they arrived it felt cold and barren, impersonal. And it sure as hell didn't feel like home.   
  


"It just isn't the same without him..." Clint said, his voice echoing in the large space.   
  


"I guess I won't be putting much effort into decorating this time." Sam said as he picked up some equipment laying on a table. Steve swallowed, he knew what he had to do.   
  


Take the lead. 

 

"Alright," Steve said, his voice gruff, "it's been a long day, let's call it in. Just pick a room, I don't know how long we'll be here, just try to make the best of it."   
  


No one wanted to move. They were all so shaken. The loss of a teammate was weighing heavy on their shoulders. Clint was the first to move.   
  


"I'm exhausted, and I guess I'm getting first pick...you all should get some rest. If we are going to find Tony we have to be at our best." Clint looked over his shoulder at his teammates, locking eyes with Cap for several moments. His face softened. A sad smile that didn't reach his eyes came over his face. "Because we will get him back. Night guys."   
  


Nat then came up behind Steve and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, Steve looked her in the eye and was met with an ocean of emotion in them. Natasha Romanoff, queen of keeping her emotions at bay, let this event crack that facade. Let the loss of Tony get to her enough to let on how she felt. Steve forgets how close those two are. She opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Instead she closes it, feeling that no words would be right, feeling that no words could really curb what they were all feeling. She looked down and walked noiselessly after Clint. Steve stayed rooted to his spot.   
  


"Clint's right, we should head to bed." Sam said, looking back at the remaining avengers. Steve gave a curt nod and followed behind everyone towards the sleeping quarters. He could see the way Thor's shoulders were high and tense, and how Hulk's drooped as he hung his head. Sam stopped at one of the doors, resting his hand on it. He looks at Steve. A straight faced kind of sadness coated his face. "I'm working on a link to connect us with Tony so we could talk to him, I'll see if I can get it up and running by tomorrow."   
  


Steve gave him a small, sad smile. "That would be nice Sam. I think I speak for everyone when I say thank you."   
  


Sam nodded. "Right. I'll see you tomorrow."   
  


Steve clapped him on the shoulder before he could leave, "Don't stress Sam. We're avengers, avenging is what we do. I believe in you."   
  


Sam gave a small laugh. "It's too late for that Cap. Everything just feels so, empty without him ya know?"   
  


Steve just clenches his jaw. Sam's eyes seem to glaze over.   
  


"I'll see you tomorrow Cap."   
  


Steve just watches as Sam closes the door. Steve then turned and walked further down the hall.   
  


_ "And here is your room. I hope it's big enough, I know you love space for that art thing you do, impressive stuff." _ __   
  


"It's plenty big Tony, thank you. Honestly it's probably too big." Steve quoted himself to no one in particular. Thor was still standing outside his new door when Steve walked by.   
  


"Captain, I just want you to know that I will not rest till friend Tony is avenged. I shall let no one fall again." Thor's stance screamed purpose and guilt. Steve tried to clear his mind.   
  


"I appreciate the thought, Tony would love to hear that. But don't take responsibility for anything that's happened, it's no ones fault. Not yours, not mine, not Tony's, nor anyone else's. Don't be too hard on yourself ok?"   
  


"I will try my best, but I refuse to leave a man behind."   
  


Steve gave another sad smile. "That's good. I'm headed off to bed now alright? Just try your best to sleep."   
  


And with that Steve was off again down the hall. He could hear something breaking behind a door he passed.   
  


When he reached his room and looked in he wasn't surprised to see just the bare essentials, a twin bed, a desk, a nightstand with a digital alarm clock resting on top, and a dresser. Nothing like the large spacious room he and Tony shared.   
  


Steve pressed his back against the door and slid down to the floor. His head was pressed against the metal of the door as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had to remain calm, he was captain America, the avengers co-leader, he had to set an example. No, he's the  _ leader _ now, the responsibility landing square on his shoulders since Tony is gone. He hugged his knees to his chest. Tony, he closed his eyes as images of him ran through his mind. His brilliant smile, his dark eyes watching Steve from his pillow, his beautiful laugh when Steve would scoop him up in his arms. For a moment, Steve lived in those memories, but the images were soon taken over by Tony with a malicious red glare as his voice was twisted into one the avengers would hear in their nightmares. 

 

Steve shuddered as he opened his eyes again, eyes brimming with tears. His lower jaw trembled as he tried to control himself, he couldn't let his emotions get in the way. And yet, he wanted to just empty everything inside him, the agony of not being able to touch Tony one last time, the screams and sobs threatening to claw their way up his throat. He felt broken. Lost. He felt a tear slide down his face. Then another. And another. His breathing became jagged as the whole situation sunk in. And it burned. It burned his mind, his skin, his heart. He covered his mouth with his hand as a strangled sound escapes his mouth. He just wants to touch him again. To wrap his arms around him, to kiss him, if just one last time. He put his head down against his forearms. 

 

Steve was transported back to those nights were he was inundated with dreams of Peggy and Bucky and Howard and the Hallowing Commandos. But when he would wake the 21st century would overwhelm him. He would wake up in a cold sweat, and his surroundings and the realization that it wasn't the 40s anymore sank in too quickly and too slowly. The digital clock on his nightstand, the immense comfort of the sheets beneath him, again reminding him that he wasn't in the barracks anymore. The room was pitch black, but the lack of creaking from constantly moving soldiers and the openness indicating he was indeed not where he needed to be, where he  _ should _ be. In the middle of his panic he would hear the rustle of sheets next to him. He had jumped, not expecting the shifting form next to him, and looking over to see a small, electric blue circle lighting up the immediate space around him.   
  


"Steve? Honey what's wrong?"   
  


Steve looked the man in the face, and with the help of the soft blue light and his enhanced sight he looked into the soft brown eyes he's looked into so many times. Steve then started rambling to him incoherently about his dreams, about his past.   
  


Tony reached out and brought him to him, just holding him and whispering to him while Steve choked on repressed sobs, pressing against Tony as tightly as he could. The arc reactor pressed against Steve's chest, sharp and warm, the device's presence grounding him.   
  


After holding him for several moments he pulled away slightly and moved his head to Steve's left pec.   
  


"I've heard you're supposed to kiss it where it hurts and that'll make it feel better."   
  


Steve looked at Tony who was still half scrunched down, looked in his eyes and saw his future. Steve was again overwhelmed, but this time it was a warmth spreading through his chest and his heart. He grabbed Tony's face, his shoulders rising as Steve dragged his thumb across his cheekbone, Tony rested a hand over Steve's.   
  


"Thank you," Steve sniffled, "you mean so much to me, you know that?"   
  


Tony gives him one of those soft smiles, the ones that make Steve melt. Tony moved closer, bumping Steve's nose with his own before kissing him, Steve still gently holding his face. Tony's lips were warm, slightly chapped from a lack of care, his goatee scratched at Steve's clean shaven face. It was gentle, full of love. Steve would then curl into Tony's side and sleep soundly till later in the morning.   
  


Steve raised his head with a sharp gasp of air, his cheeks wet. Right. Tony's gone. He slowly stood, unsure of how long he was seated on the ground. He turned the lights off before setting off to cross the room, heading for the twin bed. He sat on the bed, feeling weak. He pulled off his uniform top, placing it on the floor along with the shield that was strapped there. He placed it on the floor next to the bed as he laid back, a single tear slipping from the corner of his eye. He turned on his side, curling up underneath the sheets. They were going to find him. They were going to bring him home. Steve repeated it in his head like a montra until he sank into a dreamless sleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is also posted on my tumblr along with other stuff too short to put on here (them-stony-boys)  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
